Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
