she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
