Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
We are two peas in an std pod
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
