Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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