There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
