dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
