My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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