I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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