Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Randomize
