I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
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