You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize