Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
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