Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
