Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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