At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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