We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
