umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
