He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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