Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Randomize
