it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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