im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
No more Irish car bombs ever.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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