8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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