It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize