I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Randomize
