i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
