If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
