id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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