I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
My dick has a subreddit
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Randomize
