She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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