Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
