It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Randomize
