It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
