So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
