Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
