mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Randomize
