The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Randomize
