he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
