We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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