Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
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