How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
