What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Randomize