wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
