Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
