Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
She announced her abortion via fbk
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
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