whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Randomize
