It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
The best revenge is premature balding
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
