they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Randomize
