Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(707): View more from California

last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?

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(703): View more from Virginia

We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.

(540): View more from Virginia

You guys make me sad

(703): View more from Virginia

You misspelled jealous there

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(720): View more from Colorado

Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.

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(763): View more from Minnesota

Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave

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(262): View more from Wisconsin

Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.

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(440): View more from Ohio

im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.

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(256): View more from Alabama

Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.

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(301): View more from Maryland

Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood

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