Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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