So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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