he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
