I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
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