Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
vagina is talking i cant
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
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