Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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