nut hugger
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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