East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
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