you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
