One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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