but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
