Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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