I swear she didn't look like that last week.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
