he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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