the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Randomize
