So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I won't apologize to a one balled man
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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