weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Randomize
